DIARY - Summer's here and the time is right....
Date: 2006-05-05 13:50:49
Author: Pat Kent
And I promised more laughs....
Here's one, sorry it's an Essex girl joke...
One winter's night in Essex, a trucker stops for a red light and a blonde in an Porsche 4x4 pulls up alongside. She jumps out of her car, runs over to his truck and knocks on the door. The trucker lowers his window and she says:
"Hi, my name is Sharon and you are losing some of your load."
The trucker ignores her and proceeds on down the street.
When the truck stops for another red light, the girl again catches up. She jumps out of her car, runs up and knocks on the door. Again, the trucker lowers the window. As if they've never spoken, the blonde says brightly:
"Hi, my name is Sharon, and you are losing some of your load!"
Shaking his head, the trucker ignores her again and continues down the street.
At the third red light, the same thing happens again. All out of breath, the blonde gets out of her car, runs up and knocks on the truck door. The trucker lowers the window. Again she says:
"Hi, my name is Sharon and you are losing some of your load!"
When the light turns green, the trucker revs up and races to the next light. When he stops this time, he hurriedly gets out of the truck and runs back to the blonde. He knocks on her window and as she lowers it, he says:
"Hi, my name's Kevin and I'm driving a sodding gritter ..!"
Might be an oldie but the Essex Girl jokes still resurface ocassionally and provide a staple diet.....
More laughs...
Well, here we are local elections polling day minus 1, and what do we have after a week of cock-ups by our national politicians? A week after Charles Clarke admits to loosing 1000 "foreign" criminals on our streets, including convicted murderers and rapists and then admitting he doesn't know where they are and a week after John "two shags" prescott admits to having a two year fling with his secretary after all his name calling of the Tory dillitantes who did the same thing ten years ago we have the biggest surge in BNP voting ever. It might not seem a lot but in one borough they won 10 out of 13 seats they contested. The thin end of the wedge? I think so. Even if they don't gain more, political prats like Prescott and Clarke have given them credence and credibility and that's all the need to sway the opinions of a lot of the Sun or even Daily Express and Mail reading proles out there.
I said last time about the blackshirts forcing changes in our so called civil liberties one day, we just took one step closer to it today.
Are we ever going to wise up? I doubt it, common sense seems to have dried up in many quarters, as we are more worried about who the England football manager might be or whether Wayne Rooney will be fit for the World cup then the state of our Country.
Finally one on animal one-upmanship.
A bear, a lion and a chicken are involved in a game of one-upmanship.
The bear says: "If I roar in the forest, the entire forest shivers with fear."
The lion laughs mockingly and says: "If I roar in the jungle, the entire jungle is afraid of me."
The chicken says: "Big deal - I only have to cough and the entire planet shits itself."
TTFN
Pat Kent
© Pat Kent 2006 - All rights reserved. Pat Kent exercises his right to be identified as the author.