DIARY - Wilma, Threads and lots of unnecessary Barney Rubble
Date: 2005-10-30 11:27:26
Author: Pat Kent
WILMAAAAA!
I got back from Florida at the week-end narrowly avoiding the rampaging Hurricane Wilma.
After the world-wide televised debacle of New Orleans it was clear, watching local news and weather channels out there that the authorities weren't going to take any chances this time. I must admit that I was impressed, not only by the way in which the authorities reacted, but in the way that most Floridians took it in their stride, ready to deal with this impending natural disaster once they had done with their normal routines.
So it was, that at midnight on Wednesday, I found myself, with my cousin's husband [Ex-Pat, Nouveau Floridians] in the local Wal-Mart buying up copious amounts of water, and then filling petrol tanks at the local Shell station. Panic buying? Not a sign of it, it was well ordered and in control, no-one battered an eyelid, probably because they can deal with this sort of things when they have a mind to. Not like the UK Bank Holiday run on toilet paper [excuse the pun] down at the local Sainsbury's or draining the nations fuel reserves because some farmer and his mates fancies having a go at the Government's tax duty on petrol.
The next day, there was the first of mandatory and ordered evacuations from some of the southern parts of Florida, People went about their daily business, no shop closures, no panic on the streets, no looting and rioting, just well ordered, well managed arrangements put into practice. As Wilma stayed longer than anticipated in the Yucatan peninsula, we managed to get out and home.
Best wishes to all we met out in Florida, if we haven't heard how you fared, all the best.
Lockless in Seattle
I'm not a big world traveller, but one aspect of flying to the US is the increasing level of security involved. I've been lucky enough to have been to the States a few times this year and each time the TSA have opened my bags, inserted a little calling card inside to tell me that my bag has been forcibly opened, found to be clean and then sent it on its way back to the UK on my plane. I shouldn't mind this really as it could be argued that it protects me as well as everyone else, but it's costing me a fortune in padlocks.
I put locks on my luggage so that no-one tampers with it, and if they did I could claim against my insurance. Now, I know that security at US airports may be tight, but I don't feel the same about UK airports, and I would like the satisfaction that on my journey the contents of my baggage aren't going to have any additions or subtractions made without my knowledge.
The importance of personal belongings seems to escape the mindset of the TSA as they make no attempt to secure the newly jemmied bag, leaving the bag and its contents open to all and sundry. No doubt someday people will see their missing threads adorning some employee of "In-flight services ltd" as the plane slips the docking bay or we'll learn of an explosive device being slipped into an open case that has already had its security checks carried out. Let's hope not.
One in the eye for Biometrics
On the subject of security at airports I was interested to read this week that the findings of the official trials into Biometric passports and ID cards were leaked last week. The Home Office Minister, admitted that there were underlying difficulties with the technology, including problems identifying people with brown eyes. Now how many of the population have brown eyes...Oooh!let me see?
It seems that disabled, elderly and black people are all more likely to be identified incorrectly, so I'm sure that will allow for the smooth transition of the continued discrimination of these groups.
Interesting to note that the study found that a bald man with a wrinkled forehead fooled the scanners into thinking his face was upside down. Wouldn't it be great if all bald men with wrinkled foreheads started walking through the immigration halls of this world on their hands?
How can they read these biometrics wrongly, surely the eyes are always above the nose and the nose above the mouth?
I presume baldness falls into the disabled and elderly category. What happens if you are disabled, old, with a bald head, wrinkles and black? Sounds like a particularly bad Bernard Manning gag to me.
Incredibly it's taken a panel of top scientists to deduce that those people with eye problems can fail iris scans, who said that this would work?. Oh yeah, the Government's Chief Scientist.
It also appears that problems will occur with manual labourers, pianists and those who type a lot, because their fingerprints can become worn.
Is this true? Does that mean these groups could cut it in the criminal classes? So, if you're Richard Clayderman or Bobby Crush and you're going to pull off a bank job or crack a safe, the chances are you'll get away with it.
This'll bugger the customs men up!
The leaked report also points out that this could also impact on identical twins, men who go bald [didn't they list them already? Unless these are those bald men without wrinkled foreheads], and those who suffer disfiguring accidents - Surely the biometrics for anyone with severe disfigurement would be very unique - I mean' can you imagine the Elephant Man's biometric data card?
The report goes on to say that technical experts point out that one in six people will not be able to get ID cards because the biometric data may not be recordable on their card's implanted computer chip. They will therefore find it hard to access the services such as health care and pensions to which ID cards are eventually intended to give "entitlement".
What a great wheeze to stop said "entitlements".
Despite this the report adds "It is planned to start issuing the cards in 2008".
When it really will be a case of
"Sorry, but your face really doesn't fit."
Peddling dope
A great story welcomed my return back to the UK, which showed things were still as manic in the good old NHS.
It appears that a mother spent two hours waiting with her sick baby on a hospital children's ward. While she was patiently waiting the doctor they were due to see was passing back and forth in front of them on a unicycle. After the mother complained, she received a letter from hospital managers assuring her that in future all unicycling on the ward would be restricted to "special occasions".
I presume that means when Zippo the clown gets admitted for rhinoplasty to the big red nose.
Got to admit, that's the sort of letter that you want to receive, if only to maintain the view that the world is completely cracked.
Sorry Guv, we got it wrong again.
Another sort of medical story followed this one, The Daily Torygraph reported:
"The South American parrot thought to be responsible for bringing the H5N1 strain to Britain could be blameless, it emerged last night. Government vets were accused of an embarrassing mix-up which may have thwarted the effort to discover how potentially lethal bird flu arrived in a quarantine facility in Essex.
Owen Paterson, the shadow agriculture minister, said he was "astonished" to find that samples from South American and Taiwanese birds could have been mixed for testing and that the Department for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs could not identify which group of birds carried the H5N1 virus.
At a briefing held for MPs yesterday by the chief vet, Debby Reynolds, and her deputy, Fred Landeg, it was admitted that it was not possible to say whether the sample tested by the Veterinary Laboratories Agency - and thus the H5NI - had come from parrots from Surinam or from the 216 Taiwanese birds. The facility could also have been contaminated by an earlier batch of birds."
South American?
Mistaken Identities?
I wonder if the Met Police had anything to do with it?
Busy doing nothing.....
One of those stories that make me, as an ex-senior manager, fume - another Daily Telegraph story I'm afraid:
"The growing number of employees plugging their i-Pods, digital cameras and smart phones into office computers is creating havoc, according to a new report. The trend for portable electronic gadgets means millions of employees are surreptitiously downloading music and videos, sharing photos and buying ring tones during the working day. Two thirds of company directors believe that the increased use of gadgets at work is causing major headaches for technical support staff. Inexperienced users are demanding help to sort out their gadgets. Others are tinkering with their computers, accidentally introducing viruses and slowing down the speed of IT systems, the survey of 100 senior IT staff by the computer firm Touchpaper found. Graham Ridgway, Touchpaper's chief executive, said a third of all internet users were downloading music while 12 per cent were downloading movies. That meant "it was inevitable the practice would start to cause problems at work". Mr Ridgway added. "Our study highlights the increasing pressure on IT service departments today with issues such as viruses, gadgets and people tinkering with their computers adding to the problems. "but organisations have got to find ways to better manage and reduce the load on the service management team if they are going to get the most productive use of company IT systems."
"Better manage and reduce the load on the service management team? I presume they mean the IT support people, here's a couple of quick and easy solutions.
Firstly - Dismiss anyone caught doing it or providing support for it. It's a misappropriation of company equipment, time and funds - More commonly known as stealing.
Secondly - don't allow the purchase of equipment that facilitates it.
Thirdly - regularly check the software on company machines: if it ain't supposed to be there remove it. That will put the right sort of pressure on the IT people to better manage and reduce the load on them.
Sort of a namecheck
Finally, A good friend wrote to me saying that it's not that that they object to me writing here in curmudgeonly form, [Cheek! :-)] but that I should write about some fun things too, now and then [This is fun - You should hear me when I'm miserable!].
Sorry to disappoint on this final story but it's the sort of thing I really despair about this country of mine, however, I'll try harder next time. :-)
Theres a riot goin' on
There I was expecting rioting and looting out in Florida in the advent or passing of Wilma and I didn't see it, however, I wasn't too be disappointed as I learned of riots back home in Birmingham.
Watching the videos made me further ashamed of my country and many of the people in it. Whatever the reason, these riots weren't about culture versus culture, or revenge for some rumoured act of violence, it was about gangs of yobs wrecking it for people and communities; their robbing, looting, injuring, maiming and killing, was for little more than their idea of fun night out.
Oh, yeah, and there wasn't any hurricane in Birmingham either that night, so no excuse there either.
When are we going to wise up and put an end the yob culture and rule in this country? Sorry to end on a low note, but I think I already know the answer.
All the best
Pat Kent
© Pat Kent 2005 – All rights reserved. Pat Kent exercises his right to be identified as the author.