DIARY - Socks and Thugs and Rock and Roll
Date: 2005-09-14 16:00:55
Author: Pat Kent
What is the world coming to, I ought to put my name down now for the next series of "Grumpy Old Men".
On a day when the world was far from short of news, the resurgence of riots in Ulster; the murder of two boys by an 18 year old; the continuing problems faced in the wake of Hurricane Katrina; the Palestinian entry into the Gaza strip; and the impending meltdown of the UN, what does the Daily Torygraph need to fill it's pages up with in order to try and catch the populist market?
Well, two stories caught my attention, one is a bit humorous, and the other a reflection on the trivia that someone thinks the masses need to get by in life.
The first:
£50,000 odd socks stolen from lorry.
Thieves stole 50,000 odd socks from a lorry park in Ipswich. The socks had been destined for Woolworth's stores as part of a promotion for the children's book series The Oddies, which is based on the question: Where do all the missing odd socks go?�
Well the obvious answer is a lorry park in Ipswich.
What amazes me is the lack of planning that must have gone into this heist, the look on the great hosiery robbers faces must have been a picture as they opened up the back of the lorry expecting a trailer-full of cigarettes, whisky or illegal immigrants; unless of course they really wanted 50,000 odd socks, maybe it was the work of a gang of Chinese laundry thugs from Soho looking to match up the 50,000 odd socks with those they'd acquired previously. Think about it, somewhere else in this country must be the remaining 50,000 "even" socks.
Even more worrying in this news story for me is that somewhere, there exists a storywriter developing a SERIES of books around the question; Where do missing socks go? And, of greater concern, there is an advertising person, or group of persons, lurking around who are using my hard-earned tax payments to acquire a degree in the absolutely non-descript subject of "media studies" to come up with crap ideas like this. If only the money that ridiculous ideas like this cost was used to feed the poor, shelter the homeless or improve health care�..Just don't get me started on celebrities
Shit, here comes story 2:
"Pop singer's split
Sharleen Spiteri, 37, the singer with the pop group, Texas, has split from her boyfriend, Ashley Heath, a spokesman said yesterday."
This leaves me pondering half a dozen questions.
1. Who really gives a shit? I mean Ms Spiteri, 37, and her former beau, Mr Ashley Heath; don�t seem too worried about it, as it was down to a "spokesman" to announce this tragic incident to the waiting world.
2. What has happened to Rock and Roll? Even Phil Collins broke up with his wife in a more R'n'R way than this.
3. Why do newspapers think we need to see this stuff? If it needed to be publicised then why didn't she pay for an announcement in the "births, marriages, deaths, washed-up pop stars in desperate need for some publicity" column?
4. Who the hell is Ashley Heath anyway? Is he famous for anything, or is he simply famous for being attached [formerly] to someone, 37, who was reasonably well known in the "pop" world at one time. I just did a Google search on Ashley Heath and came up with a list of nice B&B's you can stay at there, next time you are in Dorset.
5. How much did the publicist get paid for "acquiring" the one column inch for Ms Spiteri, 37, in the paper. I presume that if it got one column inch in the Telegraph, it got a whole front page somewhere in tabloid-world. No doubt Hello or something similar will pay a fortune to the same publicist in order to photograph Ms Spiteri, 37, and Mr Heath getting on with their new life and partners in a few weeks.
6. When will the public get off it's arse and realise that celebrity ought to be aligned with a modicum of talent, and not be dependent on a paid publicity machine.
I don't know what she saw in him anyway
What next?
I await the Times� uncredited and unsubstantiated report of Jordan and Peter Andre's spokeperson's imminent announcement that they went to the Harland and Wolff shipyard last Saturday so she could be fitted for her new bra.
Help, I'm not a celebrity but I want to get out of here anyway.
Pat Kent
© Pat Kent 2005 - All rights reserved. Pat Kent exercises his right to be identified as the author.